Why Would I Want to be Connected to my Heart?
Blog post written by Suzanne Easton, Mental Health Counsellor and Corry Macdonald, Soul Practitioner
Why Would I Want to be Connected to my Heart?
We hear a lot about “connecting to our heart” in the wellness world, and you might be left wondering why one would want to go to such a feeling-filled place. Dr. Gabor Mate, known for his expertise on trauma, childhood development and the relationship between stress and sickness, says that avoiding the heart can be a healthy response to trauma initially, as it may not be safe to be flooded with emotions if we don’t have the necessary tools and guides for addressing them and learning how to heal. But, while avoiding our heart may sometimes be the best option in the short-term, long-term health often requires that we find a way to connect again. Although necessary, this can be challenging work, and Corry and Suzanne would like to share parts of their stories in the hope of encouraging you on your journey of heart-reconnection.
I, Suzanne, remember hearing my mom talk about the dramatic shift she saw in me around the age of two. Prior to that time, she said I was open, friendly, engaging and interested in the people and world around me. Following traumatic events, however, I became very reserved, unsure of myself, ashamed, anxious and increasingly disconnected from my body and heart. The child I had been did not seem to exist any longer, and I grew up believing I did not have a real hope of ever becoming acquainted with her again.
Living as the person I had become was painful. Without a strong connection to my heart and body, I had little motivation or drive, and those qualities would not have been very useful anyway, as I had few ideas about who or what I wanted to be. I struggled greatly in social situations, was too anxious and depressed to come close to meeting my academic or career potential and did not know how to foster healthy relationships.
The challenges I was experiencing came to a head in my early twenties. I was three months into a severe depression and rarely left my apartment, and it was at that time that I was introduced to EMDR. This therapy was a turning point in my life, as it helped to address the trauma and reconnected me with my body. I became what I considered to be a “functioning adult” (which was amazing!) but, unfortunately, still had the “unending well of sorrow” my mom had recognized in me since I was two.
In my late thirties, I was introduced to The Grief Recovery Method, and that is when the sorrow finally ended, as I no longer had to carry the losses accumulated over a lifetime.
Those who know me well have seen the immense changes that have come from learning how to connect with my heart through this work, and I am grateful to say that I now see much of the person I was born to be.
Similar to Suzanne, I, Corry, had to shut down my free-feeling heart, especially as I grew up in a home with its fair share of dysfunction while bearing the label “the sensitive one”.
From a very early age, I was conditioned to expect things to feel unsafe and unpredictable with my back then alcoholic father and fear-filled mother who was quietly holding anger at men and life. I took it all in like a sponge, and in the fear, hurt and confusion, I unknowingly put protective walls up around my heart.
For much of my teenage life and into my early adulthood I “tried to lighten up,” but there was an incessant vigilant voice in my head that kept me stuck in overthinking and in deep distrust of others and life. I tried to outrun the inner noise and heaviness by diving into busy-ness, hyper-performing and over-giving to everyone outside of myself while keeping a big smile on my face. However, the entrenched pathway of my trauma-programmed mind was far more powerful than my efforts. Before long, I was spiraling down into deep depression, especially after my third child was born while living with my husband overseas in Asia. My outer situation mirrored the inner isolation that I felt during that time.
It wasn’t until what I describe as my “Miracle Moment,” during the 2011 earthquake in Japan, that I reconnected with my heart. While I write about the impact of this moment in more detail in my book Life In Full Colors, I’ll share a few details with you here.
After a very helpful session with a wise counselor, while making my way home to my family by subway, the train lurched and stopped, leaving me trapped with hundreds of strangers for several hours underground. It was then that I made a direct connection with my innermost heart so clearly. A sublime silence within my heart showed up so strongly in contrast to the confusion and terror, words still can’t really capture it. If I could choose a few they would be: deep calm, slow stillness, beyond fear, pure knowing, pulsing life.
As I felt a whole new healing wave of calm spreading through me waves of aftershocks shook my subway car. I made a commitment from my heart to Life itself that I would now turn inwardly. I understood that the Higher Love I was seeking “out there” was closer than close, pulsing deep within me. Life met me each step of the way and each teacher, book, “coincidence” and healer that came into my path guided me to open my heart to its true nature - which is wise, playful and free.
Often, in an effort to protect us, our Thinking Mind, which is analytical, linear and logical, works very hard to stop us from experiencing our Feeling Mind. This makes sense, as our Feeling Mind can be emotional, messy and unpredictable. However, it is also heart-based, highly creative, intelligent, insightful, energy-producing, a visionary and a seeker of truths hidden deep within; and so there can be great loss in burying its existence and potential.
This disconnection between our Thinking and Feeling Minds is often at the core of whatever needs healing - be it burnout, anxiety, heartache, or dis-order and dis-ease in our bodies, minds and spirits; and research supports the idea that the messages from our Feeling Hearts matter and need to be responded to if we want to experience full health.
Unfortunately though, many of us have not been given the strategies and support we need to feel safe enough to truly engage with our hearts. If you are finding yourself in this position and are feeling called to widen your perspective, learn useful tools and gain the support of helpful guides, Corry and Suzanne would love to share their experience and specialties with you.
Suzanne, Mental Health Counsellor at Maliya, specializes in Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART) and The Grief Recovery Method.
ART is an evidence-based approach that uses eye movements to reprogram the way that distressing images and memories are stored so that they no longer bring up strong emotional or physical reactions. Issues are usually addressed within one to five sessions, and this therapy has been shown to produce effective, safe and long-lasting results. It originated out of EMDR and, while Suzanne thinks both are amazing, ART is her favorite!
The Grief Recovery Method is an evidence-based, effective, logical and step-by-step program that helps us heal after any loss. It guides us as we explore what makes up loss and grief, identify how we have previously reacted to loss in less than helpful ways and acknowledge the losses we have experienced over a lifetime. We then choose one loss to complete in our time together and, at the end of the sessions, will have fully learned how to use a tool that can unburden our hearts no matter what losses we have known or may encounter.
Corry, Soul Practitioner at Mailya, supports you in walking right up to and through your pain, leveraging it as a portal to free your heart and soul.
Corry uses approaches that have transformed her life and those of hundreds of clients. Modalities such as clinical hypnotherapy, with a spiritual approach, and Reconnective energy healing are two key ones used, along with other healing “power tools” that are shared each session.
Hypnotherapy allows for direct access to the subconscious patterns, habits and reactions that are running interference with our natural state of flow and joy. In hypnotherapy, Corry, trained by medical-doctor-turned-healer Dr. Sonia Gupte, walks beside you as you uncover core beliefs that are at the root of outmoded practices you’re longing to upgrade. Some ask, “Do I stay in control during hypnosis?”, and the answer is “Yes!” You are in more control during hypnotherapy than at any other time because 95% of your often unaccessed Feeling Mind comes online. For most clients, 3-5 sessions will provide the best results.
Energy healing allows you to sync-up your innate Universal Intelligence with Life’s Universal Intelligence as you simply lay back, relax and receive an energy upgrade of your frequencies. When learning Heart Coherence Energy Healing from Dr. Joe Dispenza, he taught, “Changing your state of being means changing your energy, because in order for you to affect matter, you have to become more energy and less matter”. This access to higher frequencies through heart coherence also aligns well with Reconnective Energy Healing which Corry learned from Dr. Eric Pearl for whole health. Clients report shifts in body, mind and spirit as life situations move with more ease and flow after even one energy healing session.
If you would like to learn more about Suzanne, Corry or any of the other wonderful practitioners at Maliya, please explore our offerings at www.maliya.ca
We are grateful to have had this chance to share our hearts with you, and thank you for the time and energy you spent with us here.💜